When Doubt Whispers "I Don't Have Anything Special to Offer"
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." ~Harold Thurman Whitman
She begins the chapter by retelling of a group activity in which she was to share "What do you love to do?" and "If finances were unlimited and failure was unlikely, what would be your dream?" So many of us may not know the answers to these questions, really, because either we've never really thought about it or we feel we have nothing special to offer. Rather we spend our time trying to be who others want, expect or need us to be. She calls it the "disease to please," (I have it in spades!) which tends to make us candidates for burnout and never feeling like we measure up to others. (Oh can I relate!)
However, "God never intended for us to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another, celebrating and encouraging each other's strengths while discovering who He created us to be." When we compare ourselves, we are setting ourselves up for insecurity, discontent and confusion. We can never truly measure up because we compare how we feel on the inside to what we see on someone else's outside. So we try to make our outside match which depletes our feeling on the inside. (vicious cycle)
"But in fact God has place the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body." 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
The only way to break free from this trap is to embrace who you are and why. We are made the way we are for a reason; God has a purpose for us. What we like, our strengths, what we need are all necessary parts of the unique way God made us for the purpose He planned for us long ago in His ministry. She validates that it is easy to neglect our dreams and desires to meet the needs of others and call it self-sacrifice. However what we're really doing is shutting down a place in our soul where God's dreams and gifts are waiting to be revealed. It is God-seeking to intentionally get to know and become who God created you to be.
Our personality is one aspect that makes us unique; it is our most natural way to do things. We all have strengths and what she calls "relational challenges." She goes further to identify 4 personality types described in Florence Littauer's book
Personality Plus. In reading the traits listed and after praying for God to help her be her natural self, she started to see a pattern to desires and emotional needs. Many people may be a mix of two types. "If God knows you, has a purpose for you, and loves you just the way He made you, I have no doubt He wants to help you get to that place of acceptance as well. When you embrace who God created you to be, you will find confidence and joy." (pg 142)
(I needed a dictionary to read the traits and asked my immediate family and 2 friends who know the real me to help me too - as I too often can only see the negative in me, as well as fearing that maybe I was in denial about some of the challenges. Ironically, when it came to relational challenges, my choices matched others almost exactly, however my brother made the comment that some of those challenges were positive not negative traits. As for my strengths, I had a harder time seeing those because I know my inner thoughts. I do things, but don't like to!)
She returns to the question "What would you do if neither time nor money was an issue?" She states that after the initial trips, purchases, and burdens we'd relieve from our lives, we get to our heart's greatest desire; that thing that brings your heart to life. Since your heart is the core of who you are, it is the truest you. The desire of your heart indicates your God-given passion. We need to guard and listen to our heart instead of silencing it and listening to the voice of sacrifice and duty. We need to take time to find our heart's desire. "It's time to ask ourselves the question: 'Am I doing what God may be calling others to do, while leaving undone what He is calling me to do?'" (pg 143) By finding our deepest delight in our personal relationship with God and allowing His Word to shape our thoughts, He promises to shape our desires.
We often don't feel adequate to do what we're sometimes asked because we covered with a blanket of insecurity. However, God doesn't ask us to be able, He asks us to be available. He is able to accomplish all things. What He needs from us, is to be available to be the vessel He uses. We need to choose if we are going to be like the 3rd servant in Matthew 25:14-30. Are we so insecure that we just hide our treasures in the ground and not allow them to be used, but rather to be wasted? Whether we think God isn't fair, doesn't love us as much because we don't exhibit the talents of others or are just afraid, God wants us to be available for His use. It reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Ginny Owens. In the chorus, God is responding to several different biblical characters suffering from insecurity. His answer to their doubts? "There's a bigger picture you can't see. You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me. I am your Creator; I am working out my plan. Through you I'll show them I Am." By discovering our abilities, talents and spiritual gifts, we can be used by God.
Our abilities are the natural talents given at birth and yes, we all have some. No matter how big or small they may seem, they are God given and WILL be used by Him. You have something to offer that will make a difference. However, the important part is to focus on what we have and not what abilities we do not. If we are faithful in the little things, God will trust us with more and then we get the joy of being used to fulfill His purpose.
Although our talents and abilities are natural at birth, spiritual gifts are received at our spiritual birth. Once you accept Jesus as Lord and Savior you are given His presence and His present. This is a gift that has been thoughtfully chosen by God for us so that we may fulfill His plans for us. It is our part that helps us to complete the body of Christ. To discover it, there are three main ways: recognize your giftedness through experience in serving, ask someone who knows you well and has seen you serving, or ask yourself "What gives me a sense of joy and fulfillment when I am contributing to ministry or something of spiritual significance?" Remember this is what equips you to fulfill God's purpose, His design for your life and for Him to work through us to meet needs in others. Romans 12: 5-8 describes 7 motivational gifts that Renee listed:
Prophecy - often has spiritual insight into situations; can be a powerful prayer warrior or truth-teller
Teaching - enjoys explaining why things are true; sees the need for biblical knowledge and understanding; loves to learn and share what they learn
Exhortation - loves to encourage the faith of others and help them grow spiritually; feel compelled to share God's encouraging words and give practical advice on how to apply God's truth in everyday life
Mercy - feel compelled to help people reduce pain; many have experienced pain and can therefore empathize with others' hurts
Service - often end up doing what no one else likes to do; demonstrates love by serving people and enjoys helping others while meeting their needs; usually prefers behind-the-scenes assignments
Giving - might have unique financial insight; often has the resources to meet needs, and enjoys sharing material blessings; sensitive to how money is spent and saved
Leadership - strong sense of duty; like to oversee and organize projects and find things for people to do because you see the big picture; good at planning for the future while working to keep everyone on track
Most importantly, don't forget that God uses our life experiences, both good and bad, to reveal His purpose. That is why it is so important to allow God to restore our past and redeem the pain for His glory and others' gain. (Chapter 4) Sharing an analogy from Lysa TerKeurst: Like making a cake, each ingredient if tasted separately has a different flavor: sweet, dry, bitter, etc. When mixed together they rise up and make something wonderful. But if even just one of those items is missing the treat would not be complete. Jesus wants to use all of our experiences to complete us and to use us to complete His plan.
Each of us has been designed by God with the desire to make a difference. He has given us everything we need: desires, personality, abilities, gifts, and experiences. "Before the creation of the world, God chose you to be in His story - to be adopted as His daughter (or son), grafted into His family, cast in a leading role, and used for His glorious purpose. Being chosen means you have something special to offer that can make a difference. You are no longer isolated and disconnected. You are
wanted, and
you belong!" (pg. 152) God chose you and now it's your turn to choose. Choose wisely. Choose to become the person God created and designed for you to be and you will not regret it! :)
Praying God's Promises
O Lord, You have searched me and You know me. You created my inmost being and knit me together in my other's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful and I am one of them. Help me to stop comparing myself with others so I can become the woman You created me to be. I'm one of Your masterpieces, created anew in Christ Jesus so I can do the good things You planned for me long ago. Remind me that You promise to fulfill Your purpose for me and that You will not abandon the works of Your hands.
I surrender my personality, heart's desire, abilities, spiritual gifts, and experiences to Your purposes. I delight myself in You, Lord, trusting You to shape the desires of my heart to match Yours. I want to seek and serve Jesus in all I do, for in Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love as each part does its work. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
