Seriously?!?

Today started as one of those days.  We all have them.  Awake too early, not feeling 100%, mind swirling with so much on it that it hurts.  But, I don't like to miss church.  It's not that I think God would punish me for not going or anything like that, but I do feel like giving God this dedicated time is the very least I can do to honor all He's done for me.  We go to the 8:00 am service.  The very early service filled with seniors and classic hymns played on an antique pipe organ.  Not really my thing, but it's my mom's service, it gets me out with enough time to do things during the day, and it allows me to check up on all those matriarchs and patriarchs that have been a part of my life since childhood. 
So this morning, I open the hymnal to see the processional has 7 verses.  Seriously?!?!?  Feeling my eyes roll, I begin to try to fight my agitation.  You see, I'm a mind person.  If anyone could ever hear my thoughts, it would probably exhaust and slightly entertain them.  The inner arguments that go on, the crazy path my thoughts take, the intense thinking on the most unusual things, the fussing at myself.  I'm sitting in church mentally scolding myself for my impatience and agitation.  Is God agitated when He has to wait on me?  Does He get impatient when I don't do things His way?  Is He daily rolling His eyes at me?  I am rotely going through the prayers while my mind continues its own path.  Then the collect is read:

"Almighty and everlasting God, you are always more ready to hear than we to pray, and to give more than we either desire or deserve: pour upon us the abundance of your mercy, forgiving us those things of which our conscience is afraid, and giving us those good things for which we are not worthy to ask, except through the merits and meditation of Jesus Christ our Savior."

I can't help but giggle because instantly my heart was touched.  He answers the questions of my head and my heart.  As the service goes on, He continues to shower over me His love, thoughts and promises through His word:

"What are human begins that you are mindful of them, or mortals, that you care for them?  You have made them for a little while lower than the angels; you have crowned them with glory and honor, subjecting all things under their feet."

Then came the sermon.  It began with a retelling of the stoning of the woman deemed a sinner in John 8.  She was condemned, yet Jesus' response was, "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."  The story continues, "When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.  Jesus straightened up (from bending down and writing on the ground) and said to her, 'Woman, where are they?  Has no one condemned you?...Neither do I condemn you.  Go your way, and from now on do not sin again."

God's mercy is big enough to cover our sins.  He gave His son's life to so that we could be free.  Yet we not only face the condemnation of others, but of ourselves.  This morning as I was busy questioning whether God was as exasperated with me as I was at the world and myself, He was busy preparing a message of His love.  While I was begrudgingly facing the day, He was beautifying my view.  And while I sang the final hymn with a different attitude in my heart, He was preparing within me a peace that allowed me to come home and nap. 

Abba, thank you that even when I am impatient, you are patient.  When I am anxious, you have peace.  When I question, you answer.  When I struggle with frustration, you shower with love.  While I condemn myself, you offer me grace.  Help me to never forget to accept all you offer and to share that with all those around me.