Where's the race taking me????

This morning I was reading a devotional from Katy McCown (First 5).  It ended with this prayer:

"Dear Jesus,
           I want to run the race marked out for me in 2019 with my eyes fixed on You.  Set my pace that it may complement, not compete with, your purposes.  In Jesus' Name, Amen."

Instantly I reached for my journal.  I had to write this down!  I don't do goals or resolutions...they only make me feel bad about myself.  But this prayer?  This was perfectly my heart.  As I was writing, I found myself, like most of us do, making adjustments.  My personal addition to the prayer looks something like this:

Abba,
        I believe with every fiber of my being that you know the plans you have for me.  I believe they are plans to prosper me and not to harm me.  I believe that your plan is to give me hope and future.  I just have no idea what that plan is or which way to go.  I have a tendency to get stuck in the rut of life, Abba.  It becomes my track and I run this race on it.  Afraid to change lanes too much.  Afraid to leave the track and run somewhere else.  Afraid to slow down.  Afraid to look like I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going.  Unable to focus on anything except everything around me that is trying to threaten my race - schedules, jealousy, confusion, emotion, etc.  Focused on the train wreck I can't seem to avoid, I plow on through as fast as I can. 

But that is NOT what I want for 2019.  I want to run the race YOU have marked our for me.  I want to keep my eyes fixed on you so securely that even when those distractions come, they are no more than a passing glance for you and I to discuss.  I want my pace to complement your purpose for me.  I don't want to compete with you, because I know your way is better.  My pace is exhausting in a life draining sort of way.  Your pace is easy, your endurance is light; your endurance is steadfast.

For 2019, I need you!  You have made it clear to me that I have to make some changes.  There is a restlessness in my heart nudging that it's time.  I am confessing that not only am I terrified, but that I have no idea how to do it or what changes to make.  Be my running partner.  Or even better, my pace car!  Guide me on the path to your plan for me.  Show me the way and the speed.  Put blinders on me to train my eyes (& my heart) to be fixed only on you.  And may 2019 be the year that you want it to be for me; filled with your best, with learning experiences that grow me in you, and without all the pitstops for my wayward injuries from plowing through without you.

2018 was all about grace.  May 2019 be all about your plan.  And may it be the best year yet!