This week has been one of those weeks. Monday and Tuesday were days I felt defeated and beaten down by something at work. Then Monday afternoon Ben came to my room after school and he was sick...again. He struggled to make it through Tuesday, but had to be sent home after testing. Luckily my mom had finished proctoring so she could take him since I had testing, teaching and a doctor's appointment. Wednesday night I went to bed not feeling well, plus feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I kept thinking about when I woke Ben up (from my bed where he ended up in the middle of the night = restless night for both) and he yelled at me, "Why are you waking me up so early?!? It's Saturday!" "No, son. Not even close. It's Wednesday morning." "Mom, this week should be over already!" Agreed.
As often happens when I don't feel 100%, sleep was evading me. While I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night/early morning, I was praying for a friend whose daughter is in labor, another friend who had a really bad day, my students, a friend who has been struggling as she is persecuted for walking the path God called her to, my younger daughter awaiting some news, my older daughter making some choices, my son who is "sick of being sick" and is preparing to face some things he doesn't even know about yet, another friend who is pregnant, forgiveness for a friend I let down, and more. My mind kept whirling. Suddenly, as I finally asked God to help me feel better so I could go to work, I fell asleep for about 25 minutes and when I woke up, I realized today is Thursday. This week I thought would never end is almost over!
I am so grateful that God is weak when I am strong. I am so grateful that He has filled me with a sense of others so that my focus is on them rather than on my own failings, feelings, and flaws. I am grateful that I have Hope in my heart always, even when the path seems unbearable. And I am thankful for His grace and mercy when things going wrong (no matter how minor it may seem). Who am I that He should be mindful of me? I think that so often. But the answer is this: I am His. He created me; in His image He created me. He saw that it was good, and He doesn't make mistakes. (Genesis 2:27,31) I already know that next week has some challenges in it, but nothing is impossible with Christ, if you believe. I do believe, Abba! Help me in my moments of unbelief!!! (Mark 9:23-24) God can work ALL things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) And we are all His creation and He wants to lose not even one. (John 6:39-40) Sometimes the days are long. Sometimes the breaks seem like they'll never come. Sometimes treading water sounds like just too much to ask, much less flourishing. But I have faith. Faith in the God who created me and adores me (even when I can't figure out why) and who walks with me through everything. I have faith in His truth, which is His word. His promises never fail. Sometimes it takes a little time to see the whole picture, but He always has a plan and it is to prosper me and to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) After all, hind sight is 20/20, because now we see in part, but one day we will see fully even as we are fully known. (1Corinithians 13:12) All because I am His. Thank you, Abba!
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