Memories

Yesterday we were making the drive home from Washington DC, and at one point in the trip everyone was sleeping so it was just quiet in the car.  These are the times that my mind often gets the best of me.  As I drove, I was thanking God for the opportunity to make more memories with my children; for them to have memories of time together with each other, with me, with their grandmother.  Then my mind goes to other memories...memories of other times, other dreams, almost moments and often that leads to sadness in me.  

Don't get me wrong, I am very blessed and so grateful that it's so.  I have 3 beautiful children.  This week I've watched them walk hand in hand, giggle and laugh, the older 2 take turns carrying the little one, as well as instigating, teasing and normal impish behaviors.  It truly warms my heart to watch. I feel so blessed to have them and for all the times we've had together.  Then my mind thinks about how great it would be if they had 2 parents to love them.  I think about how blessed they would have been.  I think, if only I had someone to share this road with.  I think of missed opportunities. I let my mind begin to get away from me.

But I have to stop myself.  I can't let Satan take me down this road.  I can't let him turn my blessings into guilt, sorrow and curses.  God has a plan for me and family and that plan has been to prosper me and not to harm us.  He has given us hope and a future.  There is a reason for every path we walk, even those we chose to go down when another, better path was offered.  And God can and does create good even in the midst of our mistakes and missteps, because He loves us so overwhelmingly and unconditionally.  

Our life has been different, but in the different has been so much joy!  Food fights to break tense moments.  Lazy days of movie marathons to end a stressful week.  Trips to the park where for just a little while we can all be 5 again.  Candle lit dinners of Mac and cheese and juice on wine glasses.  Talks that start out so serious but end with laughter so full your stomach hurts.  Times where a bed is meant for the whole family.  And times of such financial strain that all we have to give is what our hands and hearts can offer.  Dreams of tomorrow, memories of yesterday, all gifts of today.  The truest gift is Him in all of it.  God has provided for their every need.  No, they may not have 2 parents, but He gave them one with twice the love to share.  No, they may not have all the latest toys or gadgets, but He has never let their needs go unmet.  

Thank you, Lord, for the gift that is my family.  Thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon us, especially the memories that we cherish of our times together.  Thank you, also, Lord, for guarding our minds.  Thank you for protecting us from Satan's schemes to rob our joy and for helping us to know we have a choice: blessings or curses.  I choose life lived in You.  Almost isn't.  You are.  Thank you.