This verse is heavy on my heart today. Yesterday I found myself struggling down memory lane. I was thinking of times in my life that were beautiful and magical. I was thinking of times that were more dreamlike than reality. When I get into that mindset, I fall into a pit. The "what-if" pit. I hate this pit with a passion because it is so deep and hard to get out of. But when I sit and look at the pit in the light of the cross, my eyes see something new.
No, I didn't get to marry the handsome, wonderful marine or wear the beautiful dress or say the heartfelt vows I wrote or dance the night away into a gorgeous honeymoon. I didn't get to live in the dream house we were building and stay home with my daughters instead of working. BUT, I also was not the woman he divorced 3 years laters. And I wasn't stationed with him in San Diego when my daddy was dying. My daughters and I were here. Holding his hands everyday till the end. Belle reading him the bible, Kalie singing him sweet songs. I was there in his final breath to comfort him and remind him that we would be okay and he should go to Jesus; he had taught me well and we would survive. I was still there when months later my mother reached the point that the mourning was too hard and she just needed to meltdown for a day. Kalie performed in musicals and shows, Belle played soccer and won awards for her art and academics. They shared holidays with both sets of grandparents. They had a blast a youth group. And I had Ben. Life has been exciting! None of those things may have happened if my then dream came true. God had another plan and His way is always right. So today, I wake up fresh and new. The past is just that - past. And today God will do a new thing in my life. Memories are fun, but like a book, they need to be put down and we need to choose life and live it. That's a blessing God gives us today...the present.
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