Friday, September 12, 2014

Why do bad things happen, Mom?

"How long, Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrongdoing? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds." (Habakkuk 1:2-3 NIV)

Yesterday, as my son and I were discussing the events of September 11, 2001, he asked the question that everyone ponders at some point in their lives:

 "If God is good and loves us and He can do anything, even miracles, why do bad things happen?"

As I tried to answer the question, I found God teaching me; speaking in MY heart and letting not only an answer come from my mouth, but a confidence and peace build in my heart.

We live in Florida where it is humid and balmy and hot usually for at least 10 months out of the year.  It has been consistent and unseasonably so this year since February.  2 nights ago, the wind picked up just before a rainstorm (which, by the way, doesn't cool things off in Florida, but just creates a sauna).  My son was taking out the dogs when he noticed the breeze and came running in and yelling, "Everyone, come outside!"  As my mom and I joined him outside, each of us stopped for a second and just smiled, enjoying the breeze.  If we didn't know the heat, we wouldn't appreciate the breeze nearly as much.  Other analogies I came up with was his constant search for the moon.  He doesn't like the dark, so when he goes out at night he's on a constant search for the moon which usually brightens up our night sky.  He finds comfort in this giant nightlight in the sky because it brings light in the darkness. But if he had never experienced the dark, would he appreciate the light as much?  How can we see the good, and truly appreciate it, if we never know any bad?

This is one of the reasons I believe bad things are allowed to come into our lives.  From the creation, we, as humans, don't realize how good things are until something happens.  Rather than being content in all things, we become bored and dissatisfied.  This is the time when we are most susceptible to the temptations of Satan.  We metaphorically eat off that forbidden fruit tree.  Some times even with the knowledge that we are not supposed to, sometimes just blindly following a slippery slope and not realizing how far we've gone.  By allowing the natural consequences of actions and sometimes with a little help, bad things happen.  Parents often do it to.  We don't wish harm to our children; they're our most precious gift.  But whether it's leaving Legos or Barbie shoes that get picked up by the vacuum, or allowing the bike to rust or be stolen when left in the yard, we sometimes allow the natural consequences to occur.  Other times we help them along, like stepping behind a rack just out of view when our child is wandering aimlessly in a store.  Is this just a sick joke we play?  No, but how many times can we say the same thing over and over and over and over without being heard?  Sometimes the natural consequence is what it takes to wake us up and say, "oh, yeah.  We were told not to do that."  

Another reason I believe bad is allowed to come into our lives is because we can't see the whole picture while we're in the moment.  God works ALL things for good, but His picture is wider than ours.  We only have a small piece of the puzzle when He sees the whole picture.  I shared with my son this example:  

When my middle daughter was young, she was very sick.  She suffered from a compromised immune system due to the fact that she was allergic to her own antibodies.  In other words, when she would get sick (even just a simple cold) as her body tried to fight the germs, she would have an allergic reaction to this fight within her system.  Needless to say, she was sick ALL THE TIME.  This kept our pediatricians on their toes because Belle would be affected by the most bizarre rare things.  One time in particular she got sick and after ruling out a few basics, was diagnosed with the Kawasaki virus.  I remember thinking it was a joke when the doctor said it, but it wasn't a joke.  Luckily, they caught it early and after massive IV antibiotics, she was fine.  A few years later, another child was sick.  Her mother called me so upset because the doctors could not figure out what was wrong, and she was seemingly getting sicker.  At this point she was hospitalized, they were draining her body of infection through her neck, but there was fear that it was affecting her heart.  Having dealt with a sick child, my heart was breaking.  So we took it back to the beginning, "Remind again of what symptoms started this."  After listening to her a few moments, I said, "This sounds so much like the time Belle had Kawasaki virus."  The more she shared, the more it sounded similar.  But it couldn't be because this progressed so far and wouldn't the doctors have checked for it?  She mentioned it to her doctor who tested for it and sure enough!  They treated her with the right antibiotics and now she's a beautiful teenager who remembers a time when she was really sick.  No subsequent problems have appeared.  Why didn't her doctors catch it?  She was a normal little girl who seldom got sick.  It's a virus that 98% of reported cases are of Asian decent.  What would cause them to think of that?  Why did my doctors catch it so quickly?  Because they were dealing with a child who constantly caught rare, 1 in a million, things so they always had to look outside the box.  Had Belle not been a sickly child, they may not have looked at it that way.  Had she not caught it we might not have been able to help this other child.  Had it not gotten caught she could have had irreparable heart damage or worse.  

"Coincidences" like this aren't one in a million.  In fact, since having my eyes opened, I've seen it again and again and again.  Not always on this big a scale.  Sometimes just in being able to comfort someone because I've been through what they're going through.  Getting to the checkout and having forgotten my wallet.  Realizing I packed the schedule too full and forgot the empty gas tank.  Having my card declined because I did the math wrong in my head (I should never do math only in my head).  Getting pregnant out of wedlock.  Being in an abusive relationship.  Having a child who had been arrested.  Having a child with special needs or needing special care.  Being divorced or left for another woman.  Losing a parent.  Going through severe depression.  Having an eating disorder.  Suffering from approval addiction and anxiety disorder.  The list could go on and on.

I love God.  I love Him more than anything I ever imagined I could.  I try to follow Him and live His word.  And I have my moments of "Why me?"  BUT, God doesn't make bad things happen to me, nor does He allow me to face these trials because He hates me or is mad or just doesn't care.  Some of the bad things that have happened in my life were the natural consequences of my own willful actions.  Some were not.  But either way, over and over again, God has used those moments in my life to help others.  To council a young girl who is pregnant and lost.  To provide encouragement to a parent with a special needs child that everyone is staring at.  To help a single mom see that she can do this.  (After all, if I can, anyone can!)  To show children and adults that obstacles and hurdles in our lives aren't to stop us, but rather for us to get over and continue running the race. I am not someone special, with a special power or ability.  I am just like everyone else.  Exactly the kind of person God loves to use for good.    

ALL things can be used for good.  God knows the plans He has for us; to give us a hope and future,  with Him.  Now we see in part, but one day we WILL see fully and know how the pieces all fit together.  Until then, I will trust my God.  He is with me always and will never leave nor forsake me.  Even when bad things happen.  And even in events like September 11 (or any massive bad event you think of) there always come stories of good.  Sometimes the effects take longer to come to the surface.  We just have to be patient through the trying night and wait to see what joy the morning brings.  I love the mornings!!!

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