Finding Love That Won't Fail Even When I Do
"How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings." Psalm 36:7
In chapter three, Renee talks about feeling lost in between he new life with Christ and her old life without Him. "Life looked great on the outside: I was about to graduate with honors and had job offers, a new boyfriend, and a cute sports car. But on the inside I was dying a slow and lonely emotional death that my doctor had diagnosed as clinical depression. I thought about how I had filled my schedule and my mind with activities and responsibilities to the point of overload. I was hoping they would distract me from my emptiness. When overcommitment didn't work, I tried to drink my way out of the pain. But my escape from the darkness into a temporary happiness would usually wear off by the next morning. My efforts to dig my way out of the pit were more like a shovel that dug a deeper hole for my heart to dwell in, a hollow place in my soul where feelings of hopelessness held me hostage. The more I did and the more I had, the more I questioned why I wasn't satisfied - and the more I doubted that I ever would be." (pg.48)
She also talks about all the crazy things we are willing to do for love. Irrational decisions, sacrifices, eve crazy somewhat psychotic actions we "know will work" to get what we think we need. We tend to overlook all the people who want to really help up. People who want to show us all we do have and encourage us on journey, but their words only quiet our doubts for a little while before our old feeling of disappointment return. We often find ourselves asking Why is it never enough?
The answer is because we were created to need unconditional love, which can only come from one place. We struggle to accept the thought that God could value us so much that His love would never fail - even if we fail Him; love we don't have to earn; love we can never lose. Like Sam (the Samaritan woman), our needs are endless and the well of our heart is deep. We wonder how Jesus can even come close to filling it, however, He created in us a deeper thirst that only He can fill and only we can stop Him from reaching the parts that need Him most.
Renee then discussed how we get to a place wehre God's love can be our "enough." We have to see that it doesn't matter where we worship, but who and what we worship. We have to stop worshiping something physical and false - looking to others, to fill and fulfill us and believing that our value is determined by their acceptance and approval. We have to be honest abour our life and the lies we believe so we can begin turning to the truth. Worship comes from "worth-ship." We have to set our focus on God to fill us.
She used a great anology of a jar and began filling the jar with items to represent the things we fill our lives with: people, cars, houses, jobs, ministry, etc. However even once the jar was filled to the top with "stuff," we could still see holes, empty spaces that leave us aching and feeling we're not enough. However, even if we take all of that stuff out of our lives, if we let Christ fill it with His living water - unconditional love - there are no empty spaces; in fact that love takes on the shape of it's container: us. She encouraged us to start using "when-then" statements to help us stop and ask Jesus to help us see the worth we are placing in other things and the worth we are seeking in others. For example:
When I start to measure my value by how well I am doing as a _____ (mom, wife, woman, friend, etc.), then I will thank God for the gift of my roles and for the gift of His unconditional love that determines my worth.
She also emphasized that we don't do this because God needs us to , but rather because we were made to worship Him alone and this helps us to focus on Him and recognize God for who He is. We turn our focus to the Giver and begin to find our worth and identity in Him so that we are not just saved, but also satisfied.
Praying God's Promises
Lord, I pray the You would guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior. I want to learn how to put my hope in You all day, every day. Please help me stop searching for fulfillment in anything or anyone but You. My soul thirsts for You; my body longs for You in this dry and weary land where there is no water. Satisfy me each morning with Your unfailing love so I can sing for joy all the days of my life. I want to be rooted and established in Your love.
I want to have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ is. I want to know this love that surpasses knowledge that I may be filled to the measure of the fullness of God. Thank You that Your love never fails, even when I do. Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You and praise You as long as I live. In Your name I will lift up my hands, Amen.
Scriptures to Lean On
Psalms 25:5 "Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long."
Psalms 90:14 "Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."
Psalms 63:1-4 "You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands."
Ephesians 3:16-19 "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Proverbs 19:22 "What a perrson desires is unfailing love."
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