My response: Lord, I truly do believe that you can accomplish anything. I believe with all of my heart that miracles still happen. However, I struggle with believing that they can happen for me. I don't trust myself to not walk off the path that you have for me, to get distracted. And I have seen that things seldom go the way that I think they will or plan for. Even in that; even in my disbelief that things will work out for me though, is the belief that You will use it for good. I have seen it time and time again. You use the bad things, the wrong turns, the obstacles, the challenges, the failures. You use them for me to be able to minister to others. I would be lying, Lord, if I never wondered why I couldn't be used while having the financial security to provide properly (or with abundance) for my family; or while having a great job where I am respected that makes good money, doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and doesn't require 90% of my day to be focused on it; or while living comfortably in a nice house, with plenty of room in a good neighborhood where my children had friends to play with and I had neighbors to lean on; or while having a mate that honors me and loves me and our family. I get tired of living a life that people shake their heads at because "things always happen to you" or "goodness, do things ever go smoothly (or calm down)?" But those moments pass and I see how much worse things could be and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that Your plan is best even when I don't understand the why. I trust in your commands from 1 Corinthians 13, "Now I know in part...for now we see only a reflection as in a mirror....now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." (Verses 9,12) So, Lord, my prayer is that you will meet me in the space between my knowledge, faith and my unbelief, I do believe, Lord! Help me overcome my unbelief! (Mark 9:24).
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