And Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.” (Luke 1:46-55 NIV)
Mary's song. The above scripture is the response of Mary to Elizabeth's greeting. The greeting in which Elizabeth tells her that the baby in her own womb has leapt for joy because Mary is carrying the savior. The greeting in which the Holy Spirit has opened Elizabeth's eyes, heart and mind to something amazing - the declaration of who the baby is in Mary's womb.
The entire Christmas story to this point is the type of story that gives a person wide eyes and makes heads shake. It all seems so unreal; so impossible to our little earthly minds. First we have Elizabeth who is well beyond childbearing years, yet she is pregnant. Her husband is mute until the birth because he doubted. Yet both know that their baby is one who will pave the way for the King of Kings. Then we have Mary. Sweet, young, pure, innocent Mary. So excited to be betrothed to Joseph. Then comes an angel and tells her that she is highly favored among women. She has been chosen to carry God's son to term and bring his life into this world. She has to face telling her fiancé, with whom she has not consummated their relationship that she is pregnant. She has to face her family and friends and explain that God chose her to do this HUGE thing. Just even thinking about that conversation has me shaking my head! I would be honored to be chosen, but knowing no one is going to believe me, would have made me dread people finding out.
Then she makes this long journey to see her cousin Elizabeth. I envision in my head that this pilgrimage is kind of a two fold trip. 1- to put off the jeers and judgings of those she is daily around, as well as give herself time to prepare to tell Joseph the greatest and most potentially shocking news, which could end their relationship. 2- to see her cousin's miracle...a pregnancy so late in life. To share stories with someone who will understand completely that with God the impossible is possible. To gain strength, encouragement and courage from Elizabeth who is 6 months into her miracle.
Yet in all this, how do these women respond? They praise God! They look past the possible struggles and see the blessings and the miracles. They look past the confusion and the unknown to the place where God is in control and has chosen them to be His servants in this plan.
How are you responding to circumstances or events that you don’t understand or perhaps might not choose?
At this time of year, we emphasize the miracle of Jesus' birth and the story that goes with it. I always get a little frustrated with the emphasis that somehow every one should be nicer at Christmas time. This story should live in our hearts and the truth of all this should effect us everyday, not just during Christmas. But that's another blog post for another day.
The real question here is are we able, like Mary and Elizabeth, to praise God in the midst of our confusion? Can we respond to the events we don't get with exaltation to Him? Can we be gracious and merciful and thank Him in times we don't choose? OR do we let times like these ruin it all?
I'm ashamed to say that this week I fell into the latter category. My week was already being jaded by a truly silly disappointment on my behalf. And even when I've talked about it, I've said, it's really silly. It was a vanity issue. I felt I was being robbed of being "special" based on a conversation that never happened for a parade which isn't even about me. Yet I couldn't seem to let it go. (Which of course spirals my mood to begin with; when I can't rise above the way I feel God would want me to.) Then I got a note from a student's parent in which I was attacked for robbing children of their innocence and having expectations that are too high for 6-7 year olds. I was devastated! I fight for our students constantly. I am very vocal about how developmentally inappropriate today's standards are and I work very hard to differentiate curriculum and even homework to the level my students are working at so they make maximum growth. I am criticized by my family constantly for working too hard and way beyond what is provided for. I also work hard to include moments and memories into the day and experiences that allow children to be children. So these accusations devastated my heart. After investigating a little, I found that the root of this parent's frustration came from a newsletter and homework assignment that got mixed in with his things at daycare during homework time. In responding to the parent, I tried to remind myself that the child was probably picked up after a long, hard day and upon seeing this 5th grade paper, an exhausted, frustrated tirade dispersed. But as I've said a million times, at this point in my life, the bad things are easier to believe than the good. Those judgements and discouragements come more often. I often wonder how God can (or why He would) use someone as broken, messy and used as me.
If that wasn't enough, the next day I received an email that another parent, after having a conversation with me about how far behind their student was falling, called my boss' boss to complain. Again, I felt unjustly attacked. 1- I don't create or choose the standards. I just do my best to teach them. 2- I have been talking to this parent for almost 18 weeks about my concerns. Every bit of advice has been turned down. Every help I've offered stated to not work before even being tried. Homework and projects seldom turned in and a medical diagnosis that goes unattended. But I'm the one in trouble? And my punishment? To miss setting up luminaries with my church at a local park so I can meet with this parent long after my contract day has ended because it's convenient to them. Don't forget to add the anger and resentment of the others on campus who have been dragged into the situation to sit in this meeting.
I of course responded like a faithful servant and exalted God, right? I wish! I got texts yesterday from peers stating, they could see on my face all day my sadness and they hoped whatever it was would be worked through quickly. Knock, knock! It's Me, God calling. If that wasn't enough to wake me up, then came the text from the parent of the first situation. She appreciated my heartfelt note, which she read with an open heart and realized she owed me an apology. Then told me how much her son likes my class and how up until seeing that 5th grade paper she felt I was very appropriate and has been so impressed with her son's progress this year. Knock, knock! Are you hearing My encouragement? Before going to bed last night, I was sharing with my mom details of my "scolding." In telling her, I started to listen to the things that were said; that I heard/read and was repeating. My boss' boss was not requiring punitive actions. In fact he was not even getting involved other than to return the parent back to me because he trusts me and knows my heart and actions. He and my boss are not requiring my peers as a judgement but to help the parent see that this problem is happening in every area of the child's day. It is something more than a teacher can handle. That without support from home and attention to the medical issue, change can not be made, nor growth occur. It is also happening right away, rather than dragging on for weeks. And although I'll miss out on one thing, I'll go into my weekend without unresolved issues, while showing the parent that we do care and are trying to work with them. Knock, knock! Do you see what I'm doing here?
Like Mary and Elizabeth, we need to open our eyes and our hearts to truly see the plan God has for us. He never said there wouldn't be sacrifice or hard times, but He did promise we would never be alone. Sometimes we need to look past the confusion and our lack of choice to see the blessings and miracles. God has a plan to prosper, give hope and a future and He IS in control...especially when we get out of the way and work with Him instead of for Him. So with lifted arms, kneeling knees and a joyful heart I say, “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant."
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