Describe how it makes you feel when doubt whispers:
a. “I can’t do this.”
b. “Things will never change.”
c. “My life isn’t going to get better.”
d. “It’s too hard.”
e. “I might as well quit.”
All of these, except e, feel more like truths in my life right now than doubts. Life is so hard and even though I know one day I’ll look back and see Truth, these are everyday feelings for me. I said except e because I apparently am not only stubborn, but have a bit of a sadistic side to me. I can’t seem to quit or let go. I will continue to beat my head against the wall until the wall comes down or I split my head rather than quit. Some of that is a God thing – I know that He calls us to persevere and that He can work all things for good and that He has a plan and I’m so determined to trust in Him that I won’t give up.
A-D are crippling at times for me. Even just yesterday I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning, but finally did feeling so sure God wanted me to go to a funeral, but because of my doubts (b, c, and d) stranding me in bed, when I did get out then I was rushed and flustered and a-d just because more evident so that I spent the entire day fighting depression about what a failure I am, seeing only faults, and even comparing myself to everyone around me which just magnifies everything.
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