What do you think hinders you most from living with God-confidence on a consistent basis? Is there a promise listed about that speaks to your greatest need right now?
My insecurity. I think it is deep rooted and every time I begin to break it down something happens and makes the wall even stronger and higher. For example, I begin to feel God working in me, and start to feel the insecurity break down to where I can hold my head up and start to see promise then one daughter gets mercy (again) which makes her sister mad causing turmoil within the family, my other daughter gets sick with a 1 in a million reaction and is (appropriately) miserable, my son has test results/observations that show some new diagnosis or concern. The extra costs make me unable to pay bills. The time takes me from work, so I try to plan as much on my own time and far in advance, make calls during lunch/planning and take half days pushing time and speed limits, but traffic makes me run late and all this keeps my boss and coworkers questioning my loyalty to work and again the walls are formed. Once the challenges start, I become so overwhelmed I can only see how alone I am in this world and I start to see reasons why I’m alone and why I’m unlovable and why I fail at everything and how I’m letting everyone down. (and all of that is just 7 day’s worth of “life”)
A friend once told me that she knows God and I are close and He has big things for me because of the way Satan attacks me. I think I’ve made myself an easy target.
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