Reflection and Discussion Ch2 Q1

      Think back to your childhood and your first memory of God.  Describe your image of Him growing up.

I can’t even remember my first memory of God.  I’ve always gone to church and Sunday School, read the Bible and been told Bible stories.  I went through the rituals of growing up in the church: baptism, 1^st communion (back when we had that), confirmation, serving on the altar, youth group, church retreats and camps, teaching Sunday School, working in the nursery, joining the Altar guild, helping where I could and so on.  I can’t remember a time that it wasn’t just part of who I am…like an appendage is missing if I didn’t/don’t do it.

When I was child, I saw God as an imaginary friend almost.  He was always there, but no one could see Him.  I never questioned it; He just was.  I could talk to Him or play with Him when no one was around.  As I grew, it was as I said earlier, it was like He was an appendage; just part of me.  I don’t know that I ever really thought about my “image” of Him – He was just there. 

I will say that during my years as a teenager, I remember the learning the most about God's provision.  I was always amazed that at the times when things seemed roughest it was always about then a church retreat or celebration would come up and I would see people that I only saw in my “church world.”  And I would be so refreshed and feel ready to go back to the “real world” by the end of the day or weekend.  I remember thinking that my friend, Kevin, was really an angel because he seemed to love me just as I was and would “show up” when I needed a friend and say something like, “I just had a feeling you needed a hug right now,”  and I would know that was God sending him.  I developed a 6 year crush on him.  J  However, he never really knew me…the me that only God knows, but because I knew him and about his life - he was so big and popular and damaged and yet loved God - it was an approval I developed a need and somehow I wrongly equated it with approval or encouragement from God, a cycle that continued from there.  I still love Kevin – as a friend I never see or hear from – but I know now, like Sam, he was one more way I was searching for something/someone to validate me in a way only God can really offer.