Has anyone ever said or done anything to make you feel rejected? If so, describe what happened and what that circumstance led you to believe about yourself.
Too many times! The two biggest are these:
1. My husband cheating on me and then leaving me made feel very rejected; like I wasn’t worth respect nor important enough to fight for. Every time he didn’t attend counseling made me feel stupid or silly. Every time he didn’t come home I felt like I was nothing worth coming home for. By the time we were officially divorced I was a shell of a person: afraid to take a breath; worthless as a woman (still working on the redemption of this part), a wife and even a person; I believed I had nothing to offer anyone and that I could never survive. I spent years living like a turtle, hiding in a shell, poking my head out just for a few moments to try to move forward.
2. My oldest daughter got into some legal trouble earlier this year. The first rejection came when she didn’t call me to come get her before or after it happened. I had to hear about it from the police when they tried to verify her address. The next rejection came after I spent time talking to her about things “we” needed to think about and making the point that I was saying “we” because I understood what it felt like to have to go through rough times alone and I wanted her to know I was there for her. Her response was to move out. And then the rejection has come every day since then when I find out the lies she’s told, the cheating she’s done, the promiscuity in her life, the excuses she gives, the addiction she faces, the lack of responsibility she takes, and the fact that she uses my home as a weekend retreat where she hides herself away from everyone until she has a need or desire to be met (shopping, food, ride somewhere, etc.). I want so much to tell her she can’t come home until some changes are made, but my son misses her so much…and so do I. We were so close all the way through her high school graduation and then she went to college and the rejection began as she began to make some bad and dangerous choices. The more I pursued a relationship, the more rejection I felt. I’m still struggling with feeling like a bad parent. If I had raised her right this wouldn’t have happened. She would have had the confidence she needed to say no to these things. If I could have provided her a real “daddy” relationship, she wouldn’t have searched for that affection somewhere else. If I had made her feel loved and secure, she would have succeeded. If I’d have had a more successful life (rather than Job’s prodigy), she would’ve seen what God can do rather than seeking something that will never fill her needs. She would come back to Him who can help her and make her whole. If I had been a better mom, she wouldn’t be hurting right now and the pain is so much, she doesn’t even notice it anymore. If I were a good mom, I could fix it.
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