Have you ever viewed doubt as an emotional weakness in the past? Have you ever asked God to take it away and zap you with confidence? Describe if and how you are beginning to see the struggle with insecurity as part of your spiritual journey.
I definitely think doubt is an emotional weakness and have thought for many years that myself doubt was my greatest weakness. I have also definitely asked God to take it from me, but I think that I never realized until more recently how controlling I am, so I would ask Him to take it, but not really let go of it. God’s not one to just grab it from our tightened grasp. He wants us to release it to Him and that’s been a hard thing for me to do. Again, I think of the “One Fine Day” line about juggling. My doubt is just one of the many balls I’m trying to keep in the air and circulating. If I truly gave it up everything might come tumbling down and how would I deal with that. But as I said in question 6, this study is really helping me to face that. First, to even come to this book/study, God showed me how much I let my doubt dictate my life and how much I hate it. Then He’s been helping me to take baby steps to ask for help and begin to release a little control. In doing that, I’m finding a peace beyond that which I could have imagined. I’m also beginning to listen and look around better at what God has already done through me. He is strengthening me and encouraging me through this. I still have a LONG way to go, but I see changes beginning and I’m so thrilled with them, that I WANT them to continue. I want MORE than the life in the shadows I’ve been living and now I see HOPE that it is something even I can have. (bold because as I went to write it I realized that’s part of the doubt in me J)
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