What area of your life – as a woman, mom, wife, friend, daughter, housekeeper, professional, leader, etc. – do you currently struggle with most in believing you are good enough?
I struggle in so many! I’ll list them in order of least to greatest*** struggle (with the exception of the ***, the order and even the number of these can change at any time depending on my mood, the weather, or what’s going on that day J):
Housekeeper - I can’t even keep up and have stopped daily trying I’m so overwhelmed by it. I haven’t even had a day lately where I just get up and get at it and do a good overhaul. Lately, even the thought sends me back under the covers.
Woman - no one sees me like that. I haven’t been out on a date in over 10 years. I’ve been used. I’ve been stood up. But no guys see me as potential or even shows any interest in the real me.
Professional - I can’t get it all done in the time allotted. I can’t keep up. I have to take on extra duties for the extra money which means I need to work through lunch when others want to sit together and share. Then being a single mom takes me away from the classroom and I just always feel like I’m letting everyone down.
Servant/Friend/Person – I want so much to do for others. To be there for others. To help others. To serve. However, I feel I just can never do enough. Because of my lack of funds – because of my always having kids – because of my shallow points of reference – because I’m not too smart about topics – because my son goes to bed early – because I have limited time – because I have to bring work home with me - because I’m me, again, I always feeling like I’m letting everyone down, more so, I feel as a servant I’m letting God down.
Daughter - I still am so dependent on my mom to help out and yet I should be taking care of her.
Sister - I constantly have to ask my brother for help, but have nothing to offer him in return. I want so badly for us to be peers – on the same level. But I feel like I’ll always just be that kid who is such a thorn in his side…the burden he has to take along.
***Mom – I’m a single mom that can’t properly provide for her children. I can’t make the money needed to pay the bills much less provide for wants. I can’t get my act together to do family dinner or family prayer time or something daily. I can’t get everyone where they need to be when they need to be there or picked up from there. I can’t seem to find the time to spend with each of them. And trying to do better in one area usually means I’m robbing another. My 2 younger have medical issues and I’m the only common link. My oldest is on a lost path, dabbling in evil and wrong choices – including legal issues and giving up things she can never get back. I feel like I’ve failed to give her the confidence and strength to make good choices and to know whose she is. I feel like I’ve failed giving my middle one humility and respect for others, as well as the maintenance of the relationship with God she started out with. I feel like I’ve failed my youngest by not being able to spend enough time with him. Plus, he’s growing up alone since his sisters will both be out of the house by the time he’s 7. And he’s growing up without the positive male role model he so desperately wants and needs. I failed the girls by forcing a relationship with a dad who wasn’t capable to be there yet and I’ve failed my son by agreeing to cut the ties. I can’t seem to find others to help fill in for those needs…not through sports, nor through school, nor church.
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