New Year New Purpose

I know I created this blog as a book study springboard, but I'm going to continue or start again to post here.  I need a place to put my thoughts and if someone wants to read it, they can, but it keeps me accountable to my purpose which is to share my walk.  So if you read this, I'm happy to have you walking with me.

Proverbs 2:1-11

Proverbs 2:1-11

God's word is as precious as silver; as desirable as hidden treasure.  It is the key to  understanding the fear of the Lord and the map to finding the knowledge of God.  But we have to take part in it to truly get something out of it.  We have to accept the words, store up the commands in not just our heads but our hearts.  We need to apply our hearts to understand and turn our ears to the wisdom, and call out aloud for understanding.  God wants to give us wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.  He holds success in store for those who follow His commands.  He protects and shields those who walk in His path.  He guards the path taken by those who are doing what is right and being fair.  He protects those who are faithful.  By reading, accepting and applying His word to your life, you will understand what is right and just and fair; you will know which is the good path. He will allow, through the Holy Spirit, wisdom to enter your heart; knowledge will be pleasant to you in the depths of your soul.  Discretion will protect you and you will be guarded by understanding.  

I understand the words on this page and in the Bible, but apparently I am doing something wrong.  I do read God's word daily (with occasional lapses) and I ask daily for Him to help me understand what His word has for me.  I ask Him to give me wisdom and discernment and to show me the path He has for me, as well as give me the strength, courage and provision to walk down that path.  However, I feel like I must have the map upside down or something.  I try to follow His commands but always come up short and don't know what I'm doing wrong.  Lately I just feel like I'm just walking in a constant valley of despair in most parts of my life; like there is a gray cloud surrounding me.  I feel as if I know where the light is but it is always out of reach.  I feel like I'm trying to read and follow the map but just keep seeing the same tree.  I've asked which command it is that I'm not following that keeps me from the success He has in store for me, but I don't hear the answer.  I want to clean out the eyes and ears of my heart and I've cried out for help but the still small voice that keeps whispering is not God's because it fills me with doubt and uncertainty and feelings of failure.  I don't know what else to do except keep trying.  God is and has been the only constant in my life, so I will keep asking and keep hoping.